{"product_id":"the-return-of-the-halloween-monsters","title":"The Return of the Halloween Monsters","description":"\u003cp\u003eAnother 18 slices of rott n' roll records from Weirdsville, USA!!\n\n'Ain't nobody here but us monsters!' I shouted out in desperation.\n\n'Monsters? There are no monsters here!' came the reply out of the darkness, 'These are my children! My babies!!'\n\nAnd with that the footsteps shuffled closer... closer. I could hear the shadowy figure breathing heavily. I could see the silhouette of his hunched figure lurching slowly towards the corner where I was crouching on the cold, sludgy floor. 'It's now or never' I told myself, and with that I leapt up and made a dash for the open door.\n\nAll of a sudden the monsters in their cages began to howl and wail like death itself. The hairless, one-eyed monkey jumped and spat. The gorilla with twisted limbs began to thrash and tear at the iron bars that restrained him. The grotesque human head with the body of a dog let out a piercing, blood curdling scream, and its eyes bulged out of madness. But I had no time to be horrified, no time to be scared, and no time to stop and stare. I had to get outta there - and fast.\n\nI moved quickly, but my feet struggled for grip on the slimy stone flagstones, which was covered everywhere in gooey blood and thick gunge. I slid and bounced haphazardly from cage to cage, hairy arms protruding and grabbing, gnashing teeth snapping and snarling, until I finally reached the dark, open doorway at the far end of the room.\n\nTurning my head back I yelled at the shadowy figure I'd left behind, 'It's witchcraft, you crack-brained crazy! You psychowhacko schizoid scumfreak!'\n\n\nAnd with that I disappeared through the void, and into the night.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Jazzman","offers":[{"title":"Black LP","offer_id":50421672345931,"sku":"2223115","price":27.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0867\/1120\/6219\/files\/test_996147c1_thumbnail_4096.jpg?v=1726759400","url":"https:\/\/shop.roughtrade.com\/products\/the-return-of-the-halloween-monsters","provider":"Rough Trade","version":"1.0","type":"link"}